All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
