After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
