just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
