She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
