thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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