it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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