adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
