What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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