By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
