i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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