Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
