I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
