therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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