it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We are two peas in an std pod
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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