Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
