Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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