Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
