if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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