Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
