he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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