so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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