This girl is more easily done than said...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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