It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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