i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
