we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
a search helicopter?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
