I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
