i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
