I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
