Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
