I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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