all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
