I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
