We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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