She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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