He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
