Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
