Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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