dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
