I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
