and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
