I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
