I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
