piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
