my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
did i walk over a car last night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
