I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
