My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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