I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
