I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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