Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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