Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
